What is Sexual Orientation?
Sexual orientation is defined by who we are emotionally, romantically and/or sexually attracted to. A person’s sexual orientation is inherent and separate from gender identity. Romantic orientation describes an individual’s pattern of romantic attraction based on a person’s gender(s) regardless of one’s sexual orientation; most of the time sexual and romantic orientation are in alignment with each other, but not always.
What are some of the different sexual and romantic orientations? (not an exhaustive list)
- Asexual – An umbrella term for someone who does not experience sexual attraction toward other people. While not experiencing sexual attraction, some asexual people may still choose to have sex for other reasons, including physical enjoyment or desire to have children. Sometimes shortened as “ace.”
- Aromantic – Someone who does not experience romantic attraction to others.
- Bisexual – An umbrella term for a person who is sexually attracted to two or more genders. Often, but not limited to, being attracted to the same gender and other genders. May be shortened to “bi.”
- Biromantic – A person who has a romantic attraction to two or more genders.
- Demisexual – A person who might only experience sexual attraction after a strong emotional attachment is formed. Under the asexual umbrella.
- Gay – A man who is emotionally, romantically, sexually, affectionately, or relationally attracted to other men, or who identifies as a member of the gay community. Sometimes, “gay” refers to people regardless of gender, who are primarily attracted to people of the same gender.
- Lesbian – A woman who is emotionally, romantically, and/or sexually attracted to other women. This may also include non-binary folx.
- Pansexual – A person who is emotionally, romantically, sexually, affectionately, or relationally attracted to people regardless of their gender identity or sex assigned at birth. Under the bi+ umbrella.
What is Gender Identity?
Gender identity is a person’s internal, deeply held knowledge and experience of their own gender. Everyone has a gender identity. For most people, their gender identity matches the gender they were assigned at birth. For trans and gender expansive folx, their gender identity may not align with the gender they were assigned at birth. Gender expression is the external manifestation of gender and may not match society’s traditional expectations.
Gender Identity/Expression Terms (not an exhaustive list)
- Gender Affirming Surgery – A variety of medical surgeries that can be part of some trans people’s transition process. These surgeries are typically referred to as ‘top surgery’ and ‘bottom surgery.’
- Gender/Sex Assigned at birth – Infants are assigned a gender/sex at birth, ‘male,’ ‘female,’ or ‘intersex,’ often based on the appearance of their external anatomy or internal sex organs. The preferred terms are AFAB ‘assigned female at birth’ and AMAB ‘assigned male at birth’ rather than ‘biological female’ or ‘biological male’, etc.
- Gender Expression – External manifestations of gender, expressed through a person’s name, pronouns, clothing, haircut, voice, and/or behavior. Societies classify these external cues as masculine and feminine. Many transgender folx seek to align their gender expression with their gender identity to resolve the incongruence between their knowledge of their own gender and how the world “sees” them.
- Gender Dysphoria – Anxiety and/or discomfort regarding one’s gender/sex assigned at birth.
- Genderqueer – People who do not identify or express their gender within the gender binary may identify as genderqueer. Not everyone who identifies as genderqueer identifies as trans or nonbinary.
- HRT – Hormone Replacement Therapy, oftentimes testosterone or estrogen.
- Nonbinary – People who experience their gender identity as falling outside the binary gender categories. Some nonbinary folx identify as transgender, others do not. Some nonbinary people may also use terms such as agender, bigender, demigender, pangender, etc. Nonbinary is sometimes shortened to ‘enby’.
- Transgender/Trans – People whose gender identity differs from the gender/sex they were assigned at birth. A man who was AFAB may use the term ‘trans man’ to describe himself. A woman who was AMAB may use the term ‘trans woman’ to describe herself.
- Transition – The process a person undertakes to bring their gender expression and/or their body into alignment with their gender identity. The exact steps involved will vary from person to person. Transition can include social, legal and/or medical.
Discrimination, Heteronormativity and Microaggressions
Intolerance, bias or prejudice is usually a more accurate description rather than ‘homophobia’ for the hatred toward LGBTQIA+ people, expressed in speech or actions. Transphobia describes the systematic violence against trans people, associated with attitudes such as fear, discomfort, distrust or disdain. The term TERF is an acronym for ‘Trans-Exclusionary Radical Feminists,’ which describes a particular group and ideology which seeks to limit full equality for transgender people and exclude trans women from women’s spaces.
Heteronormativity refers to the assumption that heterosexuality is the norm, which plays out in interpersonal interactions, society and furthers the marginalization of queer people. Similarly, cisnormativity is the assumption that everyone identifies as the gender they were assigned at birth, and those who do not are ‘abnormal.’
Microaggressions are brief verbal, behavioral or environmental insults, whether intentional or unintentional, that communicate hostile, derogatory or negative slights. Microaggressions can be so pervasive and automatic in daily interactions that they may be considered innocent or harmless. Research has shown that experiencing microaggressions can be detrimental to a person’s psychological health and can lead to chronic stress, depression, anxiety and lowered self-esteem.
Some microaggressions that the LGBTQIA+ community faces are within community and some are external. One example of a microaggression is bi-erasure, when the existence or legitimacy of bisexuality is questioned or denied outright (e.g. assuming two women who are dating are both lesbians, assuming a man and a woman who are dating are both straight, or leaving the bisexual community out of LGBTQIA+ advocacy).
What should I do if I am questioning my sexuality and/or gender?
- There’s no right or wrong way to feel while going through this process.
- It may take time, and there is no need to rush while exploring your sexuality and/or gender.
- Wait until you feel ready to put a label on it, or don’t at all. There is no pressure!
- Do some research. It may help you better understand yourself, and can show that you are not alone in how you are feeling.
- Practice self-reflection by journaling or other ways of reflecting on your feelings.
- Remember that it is okay for your sexuality or gender to change over time. How you are feeling now may change, and that is totally fine. Gender and sexuality are a spectrum.
- Reach out for support – talk to a trusted friend, family member, or LGBTQIA+ counseling services. Join a support group like OUTerSpace or ASTRA.
How to be an ally/advocate 101
- Respect pronouns – ask rather than assume.
- Avoid misgendering and deadnaming – it is important to use the gender and the name a trans person prefers, even when you are talking about them in the past.
- Practice empathy.
- Don’t out someone. (i.e. unless someone says it is okay to share their sexual or gender identity, don’t share this with others)
- Educate yourself and others – support LGBTQ+ individuals when you witness homophobia and/or transphobia occurring.
- Donate to or help out organizations and groups such as The Trevor Project, GLSEN, Trans Lifeline, etc.
Interested in LGBTQ+ affirming services and/or gender affirming care resources?
Visit our LGBTQ+ Resources/Referrals page
Sign up for an initial consultation and/or read about our LGBTQ+ affirming & gender affirming care services at the SCC.
Questions, comments, suggestions?
Email Student Support Coordinator for LGBTQIA+ Services Erika Hanley, PhD (she/her) at erika.hanley@utdallas.edu.